On eating oysters by oneself

Dining out serves so many purposes for a lone diner like myself. It gets one out of doors in search of some sustenance and interaction with others of our species. Success is not always guaranteed. Timing is essential for this type of outing, firstly you take up space of at least two people but only spend for one, most restaurants do not encourage this and so would often ask if you would be joined by someone. This kind of petit intimidation rolls off my back and I try to avoid it by choosing to dine either earlier or later. I always try to eat raw food as a subtle trade-off with the chef. If you know the place, order without looking at the menu, everything at once. By now the tables are turned, the staff baffled and you will be at your ease minding your own business. By the time you slip the oysters down your throat [sans utensils] eat the carpaccio, steak tartare or cured fish with only a fork - you have won them over! Espresso down in one then the bill. As I leave I can feel their eyes hear their hushed tones ‘Will he be back?”

The Lone Diner

The way to a man’s heart……..

Sweet nothings........

Sweet Little Nothings

With time to kill mid-afternoon I headed for the Covent Garden Hotel in need of a cup of tea and something sweet. The tea wasn’t a problem, only there was no cake? The waiter suggested something from the dessert menu, things were looking up. Banana Tart Tatin should do the trick? Moments later it arrived. Stumps of banana the colour of a cadaver, topped with chocolate ice cream and sprigs of mint. This can’t be true I thought. My idea of fresh ripe bananas caramelized in a hot skillet with butter and sugar, then crowned with pastry and baked all of a sudden resembled the weather outside. Cold.
Mid-May could be glorious but instead turned out grey just like the little tart. The waiter assures me the chef baked these himself the night before and stored them in the fridge, he saw it with his very eyes! The poor man’s mislead enthusiasm and my obvious disapproval called for one thing - the bill.

Does size matter?

When it comes to food I’m afraid it does! Unlike the bulky two for one deals we are faced with everyday the smaller option might just serve you better…
Lugging home a bumper-pack of your favourite fruit only to find it tasting of water. The only cure for this I suppose is to keep trying, another, and another, just to make sure you have not been had. Before long you are faced with a lone nectarine devoid of promise and stripped from its appeal. Sad. What lured you into this? Economics? Or greed?

Two for one offers have their uses. Turn your fruit bowl into a cornucopia cascading onto the kitchen table but remember: Do Not Touch!

Same rules should be applied to cakes and pastries.